My mom (80) lives on her own in an apartment, with no diagnosis. She is struggling with what I think is dementia. She is having memory problems with simple tasks like changing the channel or charging her phone. Other than that, she is a very energetic and active person.
Second
Can mom afford a caregiver that would come in daily or maybe every other day (if mom is safe at home alone)
The caregiver can help out with some of the things mom is having problems with.
You can get "Alexa" to change the channel on the TV.
I have learned with Alexa you can "drop in" on mom and make sure she is alright. She can also contact you easily by saying Alexa call Kims189.
A caregiver can prepare meals, laundry and light housekeeping.
If mom is not safe at home and it is determined she has dementia the safest place would be Memory Care as most of them are locked facilities. You would not want her wandering out or taking the van to go shopping and getting lost.
If mom would be safe in Assisted Living that might be an option.
The best thing would be to tour a few facilities and they can evaluate mom.
Many facilities would also allow a Respite Stay to see how she likes the community.
Considering what I knew she could pay, her people-personality, her health concerns, and the fact that she was only in her early 60's, I visited 5 highly-rated facilities on my own that looked welcoming on the outside and had good reputations locally. I set the appointments 30 minutes prior to the dinner hour and asked to sit in the common area for the conversation. That enabled me to observe the level of tension in the staff before a large interaction with the residents; to look over the menu; to size-up the age range, abilities, and camaraderie of the residents as they arrived for dinner; and to see how they informally connected with the facility manager I was meeting with. I also asked to tour available rooms, which revealed any differences in environment, maintenance, and hygiene between areas visible to the public vs. resident quarters.
This was an invaluable experience. At one facility, the manager stepped away to get some paperwork as tables began to fill. An elderly gentleman detoured to a chair in the common area so I asked if he was meeting someone for dinner. He replied that he couldn't eat there because it was too expensive, but he never left nor joined a table. In a general way, I asked the manager about him and learned that the gentleman had lived there for several years. His dementia had advanced to the level that he should be living in the memory care side of the building, but his family could not afford it and he had many friends on the assisted side so they allowed him to remain. Inquiring about the financial structure and cost of meals, I was told all meals were included, no extra charge. Noting that the gentleman had missed dinner, the manager just smiled, acknowledged the confusion, and said they always took a plate to his room and sat with him to assure he was eating.
This was a few years ago at Sunrise Senior Living in Plano, Texas. What attracted me to them for my friend was the full continuum of care and living options -- independent, assisted, memory care, short-term stays, and hospice -- so, like the gentleman I met, she would be able to form relationships that endured as long as she did. I introduced the idea to her, but under the premise that it was for her brother. Based only that, she agreed to just drive by the facility with me and have a look. It totally sold her.
I would suggest that you first consider the challenges your mother faces. Can she still care for herself, showering or bathing, dressing, grooming, cooking her own meals, grocery shopping, etc?
If so, but housework is becoming difficult for her or meal prep and shopping is a challenge, you may want to consider in-home care. Some of the agencies will consider sending a cook that does some housekeeping for as few as two to three hours per day (at least here in Oregon they do) for about $38 per hour. At home where my husband lives, he eats the largest meal of the day at noon so I arranged a service that comes and prepares the main meal at noon then cleans up afterwards. Some can do a little laundry and light housekeeping. They can also prepare or manage his medications if the in-home caregiver has received the necessary training. She will also go shopping with your mother if needed and go for walks if your mother would like that. In addition to the in-home caregiver, I pay for a professional housekeeper that cleans the entire house every other week for $380 per month.
If your mother is forgetting some important tasks, you may wish to consider putting in an Alexa voice-activated network. If you purchase Echo dots on sale, they can be as little as $17 each. I have three at home and three in my senior apartment where I now live. You would need to have a free Amazon account and have wifi in your mother's apartment. If her apartment building does not offer wifi, you may need to subscribe to a provider like Spectrum or Xfinity and such services average about $50/ mo. and they provide and maintain the modem and router.
I use Alexa at home for him and in my own apartment to remind me of appointments, to take medications at different times, to water the house plants, to flea treat the dog, to play music, to perform calculations like recipe conversions, to answer questions I might have about the weather, entertainers I am watching on TV or people in the news, to read books to me (I have both an Audible audiobook library as well as Kindle books I have purchased over the years, If your mother purchases an echo device with a display screen, she can also watch videos including the news, get recipes, and even make a video call to you if you have one, too. Using Alexa on her phone, she can create a shopping list she can use when going to the store. With her Alexa devices in three locations she could probably just "sing out" when she remembers she needs something from the store ("Alexa, add hot chocolate to my shopping list"). Then when she goes to the store, she can open the free Alexa app on her phone and her list will be displayed. If you use Alexa-enabled smart bulbs, smart plugs, smart locks, or other smart home accessories she could turn them on and off with just her voice. I put my smart accessories in groups that I access with a "routine" so I can just say "Alexa, good night" and it turns off all the lights and TV in the living room and kitchen before I go to bed.
If she truly needs someone to assist her with self-care, provide medication management, provide all three meals a day, provide transportation to all medical appointments, and provide social activities, you probably need to consider full-service assisted living that, here in Oregon costs more than $6,000 per month or more depending on how much care she needs. 24-hour in-home care at almost $40 per hour would end up being more expensive. Very little of the assisted living facility's charges is tax deductible and some facilities do not take Medicaid patients either. I would suggest you select a facility with a memory care component available nearby so another move would be less disrupting for her if her memory becomes significantly impaired.
* Call facilities and tell them you want information (in the mail ... if you want ... brochures, fee sheet, etc.) AND / OR set up appt to visit and get all the needed information.
* She may need to be in Assisted Living (AL) vs independent living.
Do you live close by ... so you can go with her?
Gena / Touch Matters
You can call and schedule a tour and ask questions.
She might like an assisted living arrangement. She would have her own apartment and independence, but with help tailored to her needs as her needs change.
Also, community dining and community activities, sometimes an on-site staff who acts as an activity director. Some may even have exercise facilities, or physical therapy, and often a van to take a group of residents to shopping or some other event.
But, you have to go and take a look.
However, the daughter needs to make decisions for your mom, 'if' she has legal authority to do so. First step is to get mom medically assessed.
Mom may have a very difficult time adjusting to a new environment, moving out of her house (I presume) ... into an apt. She may or may not like all the activities ... it may take her time to adjust (as it does for most people ... even though with advanced dementia ... but they do adjust with patience and kindness (extended by staff).
Gena
To make things less confusing for my Aunt, my brother and I saw the facilities first and then had my Aunt check out the one that we thought fit her the best. If she didn't like it, she could have seen the next best fitting facility. We took notes, so we could keep them all straight. We toured 6 before showing her one.
It was a whirlwind for us. Our Aunt was in Florida, being discharged from hospital and neighbors informed us that her old trailer was in no shape to return to. We flew from other states to Florida on a Friday and by the next Thursday she was moving to her Assisted Living facility. We could not have figured our which places to contact without A Place For Mom. The contact person from that agency even followed up with us.
It sounds like assisted living would be the best place to start with memory care unit attached for the possible future. That way she won't have to move twice except to the other end of the facility.
And after you get your list of ones you think may work, you go visit them in person along with your mom to see what she thinks.
But just remember NO place is perfect, even the most expensive ones, so set your expectations accordingly.
Here are a few things to consider when searching for a place that balances affordability, activity, and support:
Assess Her Needs:
While she's energetic, the memory challenges suggest she might benefit from a community that offers assistance with daily living, even if it's just gentle reminders and support.
Think about the level of care she might need now and what she might need in the future. This will help you narrow down your options.
Explore Different Types of Senior Living:
Independent Living: If she's still very active and independent, this might be a good starting point. However, make sure they offer some support services.
Assisted Living: This option provides assistance with daily tasks, medication management, and often has social activities. 1 This can be a great fit for someone who needs a little extra help. 1. How Assisted Living Facilities Have Transformed Socially - The Holiday Retirement
Memory Care: If her cognitive decline progresses, a specialized memory care unit might be necessary.
Focus on Activities and Engagement:
Look for communities that offer a variety of activities, such as exercise classes, social events, and outings.
A vibrant social environment is essential for maintaining her energy and well-being.
Affordability:
Research different funding options, such as long-term care insurance, veterans' benefits, and assistance programs.
Consider the total cost, including rent, care services, and any additional fees.
Location and Transition:
Since change can be hard, try to find a place that is as close as possible to her current location, so friends and family can visit.
Visit the facility with your mother, and allow her to be a part of the decision making process.
Consider Anointed Senior Living in Austin:
"Speaking of communities that prioritize both activity and support, if you're in the Austin area, you might want to explore Anointed Senior Living. they focus on creating a vibrant and engaging environment for our residents, with a range of activities and personalized care plans. they understand the importance of maintaining an active lifestyle while providing the necessary support for those experiencing cognitive changes.
1. Much about choosing care has to do, most naturally with assets. Most Assisted living facilities and Memory Cares are privately or corporately or HedgeFund owned and they are for profit. They often don't accept Medicaid patients. They require self pay and are expensive.
2. The admission as a resident depends upon their ability to pay and upon what level of care they qualify for. If they suffer from any dementia then an exam from docs will need to be evaluated as to what level of care they require.
3. If you use an organization like A Place for Mom they will have you submit forms about assets and about needs of your elder.
You can instead start by visiting senior facilities in your area. You will be welcome to look around on the website, but information about levels of care and their costs will require an appointment visit.
So you can start on your own or with the help of someplace like A Place For Mom. If the latter becomes "pesky" a way to get rid of them is to tell them Mom lost all her assets and is on Medicaid.
As to Medicaid Facilities, that is a whole world of research awaiting you.
We sure wish you luck.
You have to start somewhere, so start online would be my recommend, and change your search methods to more nearly match your needs as you go along.
Hope you will update us on this adventure/journey as it's how we learn and share with/from one another.
can help you with that .
This Agingcare website has a Find Care tool as well . Go to the home page .
You can also call your Mom’s County Area Agency of Aging to come out and do a needs assessment . Look on the county website for something with a similar title under services for Aging .
As far as affordability . If Mom is very active she would not be a candidate for SNF which Medicaid would pay for if Mom has no money . Mom would most likely start out in Assisted Living and progress to memory care , both of which is mostly private pay . Some states will help pay through Medicaid at some point for Assisted Living , memory care , but many don’t . Typically elderly people’s homes are sold , and their own funds are used to pay for assisted living level of care .,