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She has emphysema. The hospital said there was nothing more they could do and helped set this hospice up. She gets anxiety when she can't breathe, she's incontinent, can't walk. I fear this may go on for much longer than they think it will. My question is about anyone else who has dealt with this illness. My SIL is letting my husband come home but only for 4 days, and she made sure to complain to me about it. She seems to expect that he just abandon his life here and stay in SC for as long as it takes. ANY idea how long that might be? How can I tactfully set boundaries? Am I going to wind up as a hospice widow? I want to draw some boundaries now but I don't know how to go about it.

You seem far more concerned with yourself than the fact your husband's mother is dying and he may want to spend time with her before she actually does. Whether it's 6 months or 6 years she's got left on earth, please be supportive to those grieving this situation right now. And try to imagine what It feels like to gasp for each breath you take and be grateful this isn't you. May God bless and help the poor woman as she transitions.
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Never dealt with the kind of disease but I do have a MIL that’s been dying for 10 years now every morning she dies and comes back to torture people
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Only the Good Lord knows that day and time that He will call your MIL home, and no one in the family should be just waiting around for her to die, or you may just be a "hospice widow."
My late husband who had lots of different health issues including vascular dementia, sepsis and septic shock went under hospice care the end of Nov. 2018, and he didn't die until Sept. 2020, and that was after being told that he was going to die several different times prior to his actual death.
Your husband is a grown man and he can decide for himself how long he wants to stay with his mother, without his sister bossing him around. And it should be him that's setting the boundaries not you.
As long as he gets to say to his mother whatever he feels he needs to before she dies is much more important than how much time he spends with her.
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