My mother had been a resident in assisted living for just over a year. They were in the process of moving her into a new apartment within the same building, but it was taking longer than expected to finish it. As a result, her annual contract expired. I was told not to worry about her signing a new contract until she moved into the new apartment in a few weeks. Unfortunately, in the meantime, she became sick, went into hospice, and passed away on January 25, 2025. January had already been paid in full.
I was working with a wonderful lady who handles leasing at the assisted living facility, and she knew my mom well. She reassured me not to rush in moving my mom's belongings out. I mentioned I was worried about being charged for February, but she told me, "Oh no, we don't do that to people. Just take your time."
When we went in to move her things out the following weekend, we also wanted to donate some of my mom's items—her electric reclining chair, wheelchair, walker, and Halo bedrail—to the facility so they could be used by other residents. They were thrilled with the offer and even said they would accept any other furniture or decorative items for future use in furnished apartments. I didn't have the keys with me that day, and the lady told me, "It's okay, take your time."
I went back the next weekend, but the lady I had been working with wasn’t there. She had previously asked for pictures of my mother, so I returned a few days later on February 11th to drop off the keys and the pictures.
Now, I'm receiving an email from the business office saying that my mom’s account owes $1,700, charging through February 11th. They want to keep the $1,000 security deposit and claim I still owe over $600.
Looking back, I realize I shouldn’t have trusted what I was told, and I should have given them the keys immediately. I feel misled, especially since my mom was already out of contract and no new contract was signed. And I was told multiple times by this woman not to worry, to take my time.
My mom and I have always been people who paid our bills, so I’m tempted to just pay the balance. But at the same time, I feel like I was taken advantage of, especially considering the donation of expensive equipment that I now regret.
I would appreciate any advice on how to handle this situation ethically.
Thanks to everyone here that answered. Not only today, but every time I needed advice over the last 5 years of my mother's life. It's been a long journey and you all helped me so very much. Love and best wishes to you all.
I am betting that the estate is responsible, since you had not actually turned the apartment back over. However, I would make them do the claim against the estate and not pay them until you absolutely have to to close probate. Make them earn it.
Like I said before, these workers are scum in money grabs and will answer for their bad character.
Thank you for sharing, yours is a cautionary tale for others facing this same situation.
If this can't be rectified with the administrator / finance office director, contact an attorney. Donating all those items is very separate from move-in / lease agreement. It is easy when looking back ... it isn't so easy when in the thick of things. If I were you, I would talk to the administrator of the facility, first.
Get everything in writing.
Always get documentation.
Track all interactions.
Gena / Touch Matters
The staff told the family the same thing "take your time, no worries, there's still 3 weeks left".
I guess we were all too world weary to believe them, so we cleaned out her apartment before the funeral even happened. Gave the recliner and sofa and TV to the facility. She never even showered in this place!
They were still billed $10K for the following month, even though they had every single thing she owned removed and cleaned the apartment. My son is an attorney and one call from him had them scrambling to amend the paperwork that stated she somehow 'owed' them all that. They did get back about $15K and were not happy with that, but accepted it and moved on.
So, the facility got the $10 'sign up' fee, the $12K rate for 8 DAYS and the apartment was rented 3 days after MIL's stuff was gone. Less than 2 weeks.
You can't let them get away with the shakedown like that. Usually they think the threat of taking it to court will be enough to get families to pay up because they're afraid.
Everyone should let these places take it into court just like the nursing home did with me. I paid them only what they were owed and not a damn cent more. The judge saw this too when the records I kept were reviewed by the court.
However, if she lies, or if they say it doesn't matter what the leasing agent said to your face, tell them you will write up the sequence of events, like you did above, and post it on every review forum. People do read those; that's why facilities so eagerly ask for reviews. List them: Google, Yelp, A Place for Mom, Caring.com, facebook, etc.
If you are the Executor/Personal Rep then maybe consult with an elder law attorney to see if the facility can keep her deposite and/or if the estate needs to pay the remaining $600+ they are claiming, post-contract.
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