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My 97 year old mother lives in her home and I live in my home. I drive her to all her doctor appointments, pick up groceries for her, and run all her errands if she doesn't want to go. She doesn't drive anymore.


My car and her car are both very old (2007 models) and unreliable. I would like to get a newer used car. Can she she help me pay to buy it and I trade in my car and her car? Maybe pay half?

If she will never need medicaid this shouldn't be a problem.

I would encourage you to check into selling the vehicles privately though, trade ins are valued at such a low rate, the dealer benefits more then the buyer in these situations. Just make sure your Bill of Sale states AS-IS with the VIN #, car description and mileage, purchasers name and date of transaction, get cash or cashiers check. Also, take a copy of the signed over title, so many people don't do the paperwork and you don't want the cops showing up on your or mom's doorstep.

I would NOT put her name on it though, 97 years old can effect your insurance rate.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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JenJen24 Mar 4, 2025
Adding to your advice, be careful about cashiers checks as well. Call the issuing bank to verity it’s legitimate. I’ve seen many games as a banker.
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Happened to me. Sold Mom’s car. Money to her checking account. Paid her assisted living from her account as well as her spending money. Seven years in, she has run out of money and I’m paying the bills. It’s ok. She’s about ready for higher level of care and Medicaid will pick it up. There’s an audit trail for all her funds. I would recommend selling her car, money to her bank account. Use that for her care. Selling your car and buying a useful one. I would not buy a car in both your names. Too messy.
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Reply to Samjam
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Since it is such an old car you can consider having her transfer the title to your name (not as a sale but family transfer). Then, you can sell it and use those proceeds to cover her transportation costs. She also gains by not having to insure or maintain it anymore.

Or, while still in her name, you help her sell it and you submit mileage to her for reimbursement so that Medicaid doesn't think she's gifting money.

I would not purchase a new car in both your names, this could be interpreted as financial abuse or coercion, and if you're not her PoA then this could pose problems in management in the future. I transitioned my 95-yr old Mom out of driving last summer. She didn't like it and hid her keys (then forgot where she put them) and then she hid the car title so I couldn't sell it. Don't assume your Mom will be happy to get rid of her car.
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Reply to Geaton777
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You should meet with an elder care attorney. He will help you negotiate the issues for your state.
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Reply to RetiredBrain
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swmckeown76 Mar 5, 2025
Or she. The elderlaw/estate planning attorney my late husband and I used (and I still use) is *female*. Her daughter is also a law student. It's the 21st century, not the 19th.
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She is 97 and living completely on her own in a home that she owns?
Does she have 200K in savings or investments to be able to use for care in a NH? If so, then go ahead with that plan.

But if she doesn’t have 200 large, then to me there’s too high of risk for an ineligibility status and transfer penalty placed for a LTC Medicaid filing. The question is, how comfortable are you with risk?

Why? Well the probability is that 97 yr old mom is going to have a bad fall or stroke that has her unable to continue to live semi independently in her home. Her care needs will be more 24/7 and that is something that you flat cannot do plus deal with 2 households. So she enters a 7K-15K a month skilled facility. If she does not have her own $ to 100% pay, then for elders in this situation they file for LTC Medicaid as this program pays custodial care costs of the facility. But all those auto actions are in your States database. They will surface to pose issues on her eligibility. She’s ineligible for LTC and with a transfer penalty. It becomes a crisis situation a very expensive crisis situation.

Co-mingling any assets or funds with elderly parents is almost always a bad, very bad idea. You need a car, then you figure out how to buy your own car. If mom is currently not paying you for caregiving in some regular fixed way, she can do that and this $ you set aside to buy yourself at car. You have your own home, so it’s pretty clear that there is no “in kind” relationship between her & you (like for your room&board). Have her pay you and do it correctly. & that means mom and you as her POA meet with an elder care attorney to give her options as just how to do this. Plus atty can update all her legal.
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Reply to igloo572
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Check with her homeowners insurance. I was advised to leave a 1994 car that isn't running in the garage to continue to get the homeowners deduction for having a car policy. The car policy was reduced to just comprehensive which is about $65 every six months. She gets hundreds off of her homeowners insurance.
I hope you have a power of attorney and know all her assets and her income. You don't want to be surprised if she doesn't qualify for Medicaid. I know people who transferred assets either 3 or 5 years ahead to qualify. I did not do that. Living with me is much less expensive than caregivers which in some cases are just sitters. Highly-rated assisted living is very expensive.
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Reply to CareforMominTN
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I am not sure of your mother's mental condition, but from what I read it sounds like she is able to make a decision on her own. If I were to advise your mother, I would tell her about the annual gift tax exclusion under which the IRS allows making gifts to family members and individuals up to $19000 in 2025 without having to file a gift tax form. If your mother gives you permission to help her sell her car, she could make a gift of the money to you. You should put the title of a newer car in your name, do not try to put two names on a car title. You could even ask her to make a gift to you to help pay for the car insurance. Trade-ins are easier for you than trying to sell, but you will be better off financially by selling the cars. If you were my child, I would happily give you the funds to help take care of me. I am thankful to see that you are a caring person and I am sure you will do the right thing.
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Reply to sammyg
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If she is mentally competent to sign the contract, then yes. If not you can sell your car or use it as a down payment for a new car for yourself. If you are POA, you can sell her car but should use the proceeds for her needs: medical supplies, medications, her food/toiletries, and for your gas - only enough to compensate you for mileage on your car.
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Reply to Taarna
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I was my mom's court appointed legal guardian due to her being incapacitated. So, I paid for necessities out of her bank account. I used her car and bought insurance for her car. I had to keep track of what went in and out of my mom's account through court. Personally, I think it does not look good. I would by another car for myself. If you are responsible for your mom's care, you provide. It would be like a mother dipping into a child's piggy bank.
The fact that you are looking for answers to this question shows you do have a moral compass.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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I do not think it is a good idea to have the car in both of your names. I am 90 years old and I do not drive anymore (sob). I have my caregiver drive my car. Why can't your mom buy her own car? Some other options have already been mentioned.
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