My 97 year old mother lives in her home and I live in my home. I drive her to all her doctor appointments, pick up groceries for her, and run all her errands if she doesn't want to go. She doesn't drive anymore.
My car and her car are both very old (2007 models) and unreliable. I would like to get a newer used car. Can she she help me pay to buy it and I trade in my car and her car? Maybe pay half?
I would encourage you to check into selling the vehicles privately though, trade ins are valued at such a low rate, the dealer benefits more then the buyer in these situations. Just make sure your Bill of Sale states AS-IS with the VIN #, car description and mileage, purchasers name and date of transaction, get cash or cashiers check. Also, take a copy of the signed over title, so many people don't do the paperwork and you don't want the cops showing up on your or mom's doorstep.
I would NOT put her name on it though, 97 years old can effect your insurance rate.
Or, while still in her name, you help her sell it and you submit mileage to her for reimbursement so that Medicaid doesn't think she's gifting money.
I would not purchase a new car in both your names, this could be interpreted as financial abuse or coercion, and if you're not her PoA then this could pose problems in management in the future. I transitioned my 95-yr old Mom out of driving last summer. She didn't like it and hid her keys (then forgot where she put them) and then she hid the car title so I couldn't sell it. Don't assume your Mom will be happy to get rid of her car.
Does she have 200K in savings or investments to be able to use for care in a NH? If so, then go ahead with that plan.
But if she doesn’t have 200 large, then to me there’s too high of risk for an ineligibility status and transfer penalty placed for a LTC Medicaid filing. The question is, how comfortable are you with risk?
Why? Well the probability is that 97 yr old mom is going to have a bad fall or stroke that has her unable to continue to live semi independently in her home. Her care needs will be more 24/7 and that is something that you flat cannot do plus deal with 2 households. So she enters a 7K-15K a month skilled facility. If she does not have her own $ to 100% pay, then for elders in this situation they file for LTC Medicaid as this program pays custodial care costs of the facility. But all those auto actions are in your States database. They will surface to pose issues on her eligibility. She’s ineligible for LTC and with a transfer penalty. It becomes a crisis situation a very expensive crisis situation.
Co-mingling any assets or funds with elderly parents is almost always a bad, very bad idea. You need a car, then you figure out how to buy your own car. If mom is currently not paying you for caregiving in some regular fixed way, she can do that and this $ you set aside to buy yourself at car. You have your own home, so it’s pretty clear that there is no “in kind” relationship between her & you (like for your room&board). Have her pay you and do it correctly. & that means mom and you as her POA meet with an elder care attorney to give her options as just how to do this. Plus atty can update all her legal.
I hope you have a power of attorney and know all her assets and her income. You don't want to be surprised if she doesn't qualify for Medicaid. I know people who transferred assets either 3 or 5 years ahead to qualify. I did not do that. Living with me is much less expensive than caregivers which in some cases are just sitters. Highly-rated assisted living is very expensive.
The fact that you are looking for answers to this question shows you do have a moral compass.
See All Answers