My father is a ward of the state and has dementia. He had a stroke last week and lost the ability to swallow. The Dr recommended not administering a feeding tube. His guardian discussed this with me and I agreed. He was discharged from the hospital yesterday back to the nursing home to be in palliative care and have Hospice. I’m wondering what this means. He’s just going to become dehydrated or starve to death and die? Now that he’s back in the nursing home, he does not have an IV. He only has an oxygen tube.
Without the heroic measure of given feedings artificially administered by IV, NG or PEG tube your father will die. Even WITH those things given, your father is now at the end of his life; the administration of tube feedings can prolong, but not save his life. The result would be torture to be frank. And I say that as an RN who has for decades had this FORBIDDEN absolutely and in all circumstances in my advance directive. I have cared for the patients. I have seen the slow wasting, the bedsore that are inevitable, the horrible diarrhea, the infections in the peg tubes, the aspirations in the NG tubes; I have seen it all, but most disturbing is to witness the mourning family literally PRAYING for death to come which is the eventual and inevitable outcome. That is a heavy price for your father to pay for your acceptance that he is now dying.
Your father is dying and I couldn't be more sorry. Allow him peace and good medications. Hospice is also know as COMFORT CARE. Allow him now comfort in his passing. Hospice will have clergy and social workers to support you. ASK for their help.
Again, my sympathies.
I just read your first post. This is a man you hardly know. Seems you have been dealing with him a lot the last
2 1/2 Yrs. Please don't let yourself feel guilty. Just from your first post, I think Dad has had problems for a long time. You did what you could for him. You owed him nothing. You got him help so he was safe and cared for.
I want you to know you did enough.
May The Lord take him quickly and quietly for your sake. May HE give you grieving mercies, strength and peace during this difficult time and for the new season you are entering.
He won't necessarily "starve", his body will use what it can (fat, muscle, etc)to keep going until that is exhausted, then the organs will slowly shut down.
I'm so sorry.