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I care for my father, he has osteoarthritis & COPD. He is reliant on me to transport him around. On 2 occasions he was verbally abusive to drivers, but on the 2nd occasion I put my foot down & told him off. As a result, he gave me the silent treatment.

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So he gives you the silent treatment....enjoy it while it lasts. And stop helping him until he can be civil.
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Reply to lkdrymom
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You're both adults, he depends on you for errands so he'll come around. The balls in his court.
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Reply to Gero101
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With happiness!
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Don’t acknowledge that he’s giving you the silent treatment , rendering it ineffective .

He’s trying to guilt trip , manipulate you . He’s pulling the “ I’m your father “. Ignore it .
Remember that you are an adult . You are allowed to put your foot down , set boundaries , etc .,
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Reply to waytomisery
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MiaMoor Mar 1, 2025
Great advice.
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I would welcome the silent treatment.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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I've been there and I worried, needlessly about it as well. I shouldn't have done; I should have breathed a sigh of relief and left him to it.

My stepsister has taken over the main care of her dad since the time my mum was dying. He gives her some of the same grief he was giving me, but she deals with it differently. She tells him straight and she doesn't put up with any nonsense.

I now visit him as his stepdaughter and our relationship is better. His relationship with his daughter is fine because she doesn't let things get to her the way that I do.

It sounds like you get upset the way I do, and probably feel guilty when you have no need to. So, you need to step away - you're not the right person to deal with him and his nonsense.

Okay, you may not have a sibling willing to take over like I did, but there are other outside agencies to take up the slack. Let them.
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Reply to MiaMoor
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Why are you even driving around an elder with "bipolar disorder, osteoarthritis, hypertension, hard of hearing and COPD whose always been a misogynistic controlling Narcissist"?? What do you expect from such a person??
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Reply to lealonnie1
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"I care for my Dad who has bipolar disorder, osteoarthritis, hypertension, hard of hearing and COPD."

You last posts were April of 2023. Some members told you to back away then andbothers to place him. Seems though after almost two years your still there.

Not trying to be rude, but this seems to be your Dad and as he ages its not going to get better. I would be glad for the silent treatnent. Maybe you should have done this two years ago, put him in his place.

With all Dads problems, which have probably gotten worse in 2 years, he really needs to be placed.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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You don't mention dementia, but he may be suffering from that. Being verbally abusive is a symptom (especially if he wasn't verbally abusive before).
If he's headed down that road, he will only get worse. Silent treatment is a form of abuse, so if he continues to abuse you, do not allow it! Plus verbal abuse can lead to worse abuse.

Start thinking about a plan to stop being his caregiver and where he might go when this situation becomes unmanageable. I wish you luck in dealing with it..
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Reply to Fawnby
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Ok...so do you have a question?
If not enjoy the peace and quiet while your dad is giving you the silent treatment.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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AlvaDeer Feb 28, 2025
It is useful to look at some of Moonlight's prior messages to us, Funky.
It sounds to me overall that Dad is actually much improved over the last several years?
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In April of 2023 you wrote us this:
"My Father has always been a misogynistic controlling Narcissist. He has bipolar, COPD and osteoarthritis. Yesterday I came home from a 10 hour shift (I work part-time) and on arrival, saw dad sitting outside the house, drinking beer. He is an alcoholic in denial."

Does all of that still pertain to your father?
And if so, can you tell us why you remain, caring for him?

You are an adult.
You are making the decision to take on this care.
You should perhaps reassess how it is working in your own life, and decide whether or not you wish to make changes for your future well being.
None of us here can do that for you. It is up to you.
If you choose to remain in your father's sphere, it's clear there is a price to pay, one you are choosing to pay.
I wish you well, but this decision making is in your own control.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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