My mother has been falling for a few years now, in her apartment and while outside. Two of her most recent falls she fell backwards onto the cement and hit her head pretty hard. After her most recent fall, she had blood coming out of her nose and actually did consent to go to urgent care, usually she refuses to see the doctor after her falls. When she came home after her doctor appointment she then fell over boxes she has sitting in her living room. She can no longer take out her trash or delivery boxes without falling and has 3 weeks of trash and boxes piling up as the neighbor who used to take out her trash for her has left for California. After her most recent fall she told me a man she used to know was her in her locked apartment and wondered how he got in. She then said maybe I was dreaming but she thought it was real.
I live far away from her in another state and there are no other family members close by her. I was very worried about her falling and called her doctor and told him about her past falls and about “ the man” in her apartment. He’s now sending a social worker out to her to do an assessment. I feel terrible about this and if my mother finds out I’m behind it she’ll probably never talk to me again. I just talked to her on the phone today and she seemed fine so now I’m questioning myself if maybe I was overacting.
I'm just wondering if I’ve done the right thing? What are your thoughts? She’s 77 and lives alone. She has refused any suggestions I’ve made in the past about getting some help for her and gets very angry when I bring it up.
Thanks!
Your mother is stubborn and won’t listen to you . Let the social worker come . Let anyone do whatever may get Mom removed from her home . APS is another route . It may not happen right away anyway . Like us , you may have to wait until she gets worse to place her , unless your mother is willing to go to a neurologist for diagnosis .
We live 4 hours away . We did go in person when she was in the hospital to try to tell them she’s unsafe at home .
Also, in regards to her last fall, her doctor did an MRI and told my mother she had a space in her brain that wasn’t normal, possibly white matter or lesions and recommended she follow up with a Neurologist and have a spinal tap.
But yes, I will come back here and update you on the aftermath of the social worker. Wish me luck as I’ll need it. 😬
While I here always tease (I am 82) that "Falls-R-Us" given how badly our brain centers responsible for balance fail all of us, and while falls are absolutely inevitable in the aged, this is a huge number of falls. Something is very wrong here. There could be a tumor, a stroke, Lewy's with bad balance, just anything. You aren't there. She has been dependent on neighbors.
I am glad you are sending someone out. And if she asks you can choose to say ANYTHING because in her current state it is very doubtful she will tomorrow have a clue just what you DID say.
You need to make a trip there. She isn't safe. I think that at the least she should be reported to APS.
Is there no one there who knows her that you can speak with?
Make that trip. This is what is known as "getting the call". You soon will, whether it is from a hospital or a coroner.
I am so sorry. But something major is wrong here and she's too young for this to be happening.
I am certain that drinking is ruled out to you knowledge.
l am so sorry and surely do hope you will update us.
You should also plan a trip to see mom, physically, and stay with her for awhile. If she cannot take the trash out w/o falling, she needs in home help or placement in Assisted Living.
Good luck and keep us updated.
Maybe if she's not too bad. you can hire 2-3xs a week care for her. If she'd still falling and hallucinating, that may be a whole different thing.
I feel unless you actually SEE her for yourself, you won't have a true indication of how she truly is.
My MIL went into an ALF last Feb. Her 'kids' scored her at a 2, maybe 3 as far as the type of care they thought she'd need.
She moves in and the director informs them she is a level 7, which at this facility, meant locked down memory care.
When the smoke had lifted--the kids saw the truth. She actually died 8 days after moving, but at least the family knew they had done their best by her.