My mom is in her late 60s, has dementia, is in a wheelchair amung other medical issues. My sister took it upon herself to move my mother in with her. She convinced my mom to give her power of attorney, knowing my mom didn't know what she was doing. My sister won't allow anyone to see my mother or help with any of her care. She is now mistreating my mother, spending all of her money, and makes my mother sit in her own feces. Please help me to figure out what I can do to get my mother home with me so I can take better care of her. That woman did everything for everyone when we were growing up!
If you have PROOF of any physical, mental or emotional abuse you can report that to APS as well.
Every State (if you are in the USA) has an Elder Abuse hot line number you can call that.
If you are SURE that the POA was done AFTER mom was diagnosed with dementia you might be able to obtain Guardianship. HOWEVER this is not inexpensive. This is not easy. You will have to contact an Attorney. Preferably one that is well versed in Elder Law and Guardianships.
Please know that taking care of a person with dementia is not easy. Taking care of someone in a wheelchair is not easy.
what is your sisters response when you ask to see mom?
Do you ask in a hostile way?
Do you talk, text or email your sister in an unkind manner.
I am just trying to get an idea as to why there is hostility between you and your sister.
Get concrete proof before you sling around any more accusations because you can get in legal trouble if you spread information that's not true. What better care can you provide for mom? Have you ever taken care of anyone with those major issues before? It seems to me that mom is way beyond the type of care that family can provide. She needs professional caregivers now. I'm sorry this has happened to your family, and I hope you can all keep mom as your #1 priority rather than fighting with each other, which won't help mom at all.
In addition to contacting APS as others have suggested, you may want to reach out to a qualified elder law attorney. The National Elder Law Foundation has a “Find a Lawyer” tool on their website—although this is not the only place to find qualified counsel. You may want to consult with more than one attorney to see if they have differing opinion/potential solutions.
An attorney may advise a guardianship (or conservatorship in some states) if they think the POA is invalid or if there is ongoing abuse. Depending on your state’s laws, a guardianship proceeding may include an opportunity to contest the POA.
Sometimes a professional guardian (or conservator) is an option where there is family conflict. Generally, their job is to be a neutral party focused on the protected person’s best interests.
If an attorney advises a professional guardian, they should know several that they’ve worked with before. If you end up going this route, you may want to look out for credentials and certifications such as a National Certified Guardian (NCG) or a National Master Guardian (NMG) (California has a Professional Fiduciary License). For more information, you may want to look up the National Guardianship Association.
Hopefully this info helps in addition to the other posts. Good luck--hope everything calms down soon.
The best thing now is to open a case with APS. Ask that they visit suddenly and secretly if they are able in order to be able to assess the situation for abuse. Ask that they bring along a medical person capable of examining skin, and let them know you have seen evidence mom is sitting in feces. Tell them you suspect financial fraud.
Dependent on what they find in their interview and examination the will either open a case asking for immediate intervention or a court date. They will inform you if they find no case.
This is about the best you can do. You can tell them also that your mother conferred POA on Sister when she had dementia. They can then ask to see the POA Document or have a court ask, and can examine any attorney who may have made out the form.
Good luck and hope you'll update us.
Call APS ( adult protective services ) to check on Mom .
You can also consult with an eldercare attorney about seeking guardianship if you wish .
Good Luck .