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My spouse is unspecified dementia was just placed into Memory Care about 10 days ago. Overall, he is adjusting well; better than I expected. I have been visiting 1 or 2 times per day. Mornings are better - but they have always been the better time of day for him. So I generally see him in the morning or early afternoon. He still gets agitated. I'm not quite sure how to word my question. But it has to do with visiting - more other people, than me - and if the visiting can or does cause additional stress and then resulting agitation? So consequently, while everyone wants to see him, I wonder if that is good or not? And are there ideas about what causes the agitation? Is it because he has to try hard to focus when visiting with others and that is hard? Or because perhaps he knows that he is not quite conversing "appropriately" and that stresses him? Or is it because it reminds him that he is a different place? Or all of those things and more? It does seem that when all he has to do is sit with the other residents and have nonsensical conversations with them and play the easy games, he is more relaxed although also perhaps abit bored? Any experiences or thoughts on this. I hate to cut him off from others; so many people want to see him. But if it is a reminder to him of what he has lost and causes anxiety vs pleasure/enjoyment, should I try to restrict? Or am I overthinking/worrying (which is what I do) and should just go with the flow and let it be?

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Sundowning is quite common in the later part of the day. If he is causing a disturbance, then mention this to his doctor...Perhaps just visit him early and hold the 2nd visits for now
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Reply to MACinCT
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He is still adjusting . It’s a lot for him to handle right now . Ask the visitors to limit visits to twice a week for now and keep the visits short, 10- 15 minutes , and early in the day .
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Reply to waytomisery
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I wouldn't try to restrict his visitors unless his agitation becomes so bad that you are asked to do so by the facility management, and even then I'd explore other options like calming medications as needed. The sad truth is people tend to stop visiting after dementia becomes pronounced and too many spend their final years forgotten.
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Reply to cwillie
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