Hello,My parents are in their early 70’s. My mother has become extremely abusive both emotionally AND Physically towards my father. This has gotten increasingly worse the past two years and all stems from an affair he had early in their marriage. Her knowledge of the affair is not new. They have been married over 50 years. It is my belief she is in cognitive decline, possible dementia but we have no official diagnosis. She cancelled all her dr appointments. She gets agitated easily. I am concerned for my father’s safety. The abuse she is doing could be felonious charges if he reported it, but he is refusing to report it to anyone. I am torn on how to help. Ive offered assistance in resources, calling authorities for him, to stay with us for a few days for reprieve. I am at a loss of what to do when he is not willing to go against her. If I call and he isnt honest to authorities, it could become even worse for him. I’ve thought about calling her doctor, but it is a similar concern. He does believe and understand that she is unwell.I just needed to vent and thought this may be a relatable situation to others on this platform.
That's my suggestion to you. Bow out. If you call APS or get involved in THEIR issues guess who's gonna be The Bad Guy?
it when needed. It almost appears to be domestic marriage issues if you didn’t know better.
When a person is in cognitive decline - everything is exacerbated.
I wholeheartedly agree - an intervention with APS -for BOTH of their sakes - is a good option, especially if you can't get her seen by a doctor. I agree he isn't safe with her. But she may also be very unsafe with herself - dementia changes so much - she may forget how to do basic things like use the stove/oven and leave it on for example.
So getting more eyes on the situation is probably necessary now.