Hello all. I have no idea what is going on with him, but it feels so isolating and exhausting.
He has end-stage kidney disease and today before I left to work he kept getting lost from his room to the bathroom and vice versa (the bathroom is literally as you exit his room on the right side). And his cognitive decline is just worse. He had blood work done in him but we haven’t heard the results and I keep nagging my husband to get them now that he is authorized to do so. He’s also been falling more lately. He’s only 67.
My marriage started with him in our place for 3 years when he was still able to care for himself and we just got him back 6 months ago in this state, and he is also going blind. I am not sure what to do since my husband should be in charge, I feel. We have a 2 year old as well. We wanted to grow our family, but my husband is always in a bad mood since his father came back to us. He is also waiting for an asylum decision since 2017. We live in Washington state and he has an ailen emergency insurance.
I feel so helpless. Thank you for reading and just listening.
I doubt ice will be coming to your house. But I think ice will be involved if you pursue more taxpayer services.
Sounds to me FILs kidneys have failed. The toxins are entering his system and causing dementia like symtoms. If I am right, he is dying. He needs hospice care. Does he have health insurance?
"Alien Emergency Medical Programs...An emergency medical program for individuals who do not meet the citizenship or immigration status requirements of other Apple Health programs."
I'm hoping your husband isn't dragging his feet because he's worried about him being deported... he should go by ambulance to the hospital and then go directly into a facility. He needs LTC and from what I read with this insurance, he should qualify. You need to discuss this with his caseworker, assuming he has one.
https://www.dshs.wa.gov/esa/community-services-offices/alien-emergency-medical-programs
Diabetes takes every single system out and is notorious most of all for stealing sight and for ruining the kidneys.
It sounds as tho FIL is there now and you have been caring for him all this time. I hope to HEAVEN your hubby is his POA and in all these 5 years you have got to an attorney with dad to get a care contract in place.
Now you have a child as well.
This you write us now of seems a SUDDEN turn? If so, it needs now to be checked as far as the possibility of a sudden UTI. Because that will make EVERYTHNG go wonky. In all this time have you learned to do the urine dip sticks? They are cheap and over the counter in a pharmacy, simple and easy to read.
Your FIL has PROVEN his staying power. He is alive with his diabetes 5 years since last you wrote us. I think this is a marriage decision that is primarily driven by your hubby, who is the son, but the problems for hubby puts him smack between a new child he is responsible and a Dad he has ALLOWED to become his responsibility.
In all truth I think the two of you, you and hubby need marriage counseling now. You are not going to be a patient having a new babe to protect; hubby is at rope's end. And the two of you need a good counselor you sit down eye to eye and discuss how long this is sustainable. I think that you need now an honest approach to dad. That you have a child. That you need a life of your own. That he must go into care.
That would be MY position, but of course we all here know I would never have taken this on.
My heart goes out to you. Get a good mediator to discuss this together. It is crucial to your child that you are a united front in defense of this next generation. Good luck to you.