She hit me in the face with a broomstick breaking my glasses and she tried to stab. I called 911 and the cops arrived. They then called EMS to take her to a hospital. Then she was transferred to a nursing home.
The apartment was in her name. I don't want to end up homeless.
What can I do? I was told I can use her 2 monthly deposits to pay for rent and electricity. Another person told me to look into (I can't remember exact name) succession rights or something lease in which her name is removed from the lease and my name is substituted since we've there for around 40 years.
I live in NYS, specially NYC.
I am disabled with Major Depressive Disorder. Adult ADD. T2 diabetes, and fibromyalgia. I was told to contact the Mayor's Office for People with Disabilities for assistance in seeking employment. I was being paid to be her at-home caretaker.
Please help me. I don't know what to do.
If you're disabled, why don't you have your own disability benefits? This would be worth looking into. If you were legally living with your mother, your name would be on the lease agreement if you've lived there with her for 40 years. I'm assuming if you're 49, you've lived with mom your whole life and in the same place. It shouldn't be a problem you staying in the apartment. The building management can probably answer most of your questions.
https://rentguidelinesboard.cityofnewyork.us/resources/faqs/succession-rights/
As you can imagine, we, being a set of caregivers from around the world won't have much of a clue about NYC. I think you should start by trying to put things off for a while in order to investigate ways forward for yourself. Delaying means you're going to need to be QUIET about the facts within the building and with management personnel. You are going to need to be "vague" about what is going on, and mention she is in medical care and evaluation, medical rehabilitation, and her date of return is uncertain. Meanwhile gather information and resources.
Wishing you good luck and hoping you will update us as you go along.
The simple fact is that this is where we often see people who use caregiving as a way to be housed and supported meet the end of the trail, because eventually the loved one must enter care, and at that point the caregiver is homeless and ends up in a shelter. You don't give us your age, but do know that many people in the USA with ADD and depressive disorders DO manage with medications to hold jobs. Diabetes type II is often managed by diet and taking off weight. Realize also that, having given care in the home. you may qualify to work as a live in caregiver. You write us a very fine history here, so I can see that you do have talent. You are going to need to put everything you have into the mix to keep yourself fed and housed.
I would talk to a social worker for your county. NYC has it's own rules about renting.
"I was told I can use her 2 monthly deposits to pay for rent and electricity."
Who told you this? Be very careful if this is her social security income -- she is probably on track to get a 3rd party legal guardian assigned by a judge. If this happens and they see you are spending her money, this may be a problem for you. But, each state has their own rules so you need to get info from the appropriate professionals, and not on a global and anonymous public website of just "people". There's no accountability if you get the wrong guidance here.
Also, you don't say how old your Mom is, or if she has other health issues, but please make sure she was tested for a UTI (urinary tract infection) because they are extremely common in older women and often don't have any other physical symptoms except sudden changes in personality, aggressive behavior, cognition and memory -- so it can look a lot like dementia.
Please talk to your Mom's DIrector or Nursing at her facility and also her social worker for clarity.
She has type 2 diabetes. She is around 87 years of age.
There'd be no point in keeping up the hands-on care if it was only going to endanger her and burn you out.
May you receive peace in your heart that you did your best and now it's ok for professionals to care for her. Now go out and seek joy.