She has no savings. Has to pay caregiver. $20/hr, $300/mo visa bill, groceries utilities, taxes. She hasn’t found a skilled nursing facility she likes. She planned on selling her home to pay for that. She is very particular. So I’m loaning her money every month and she normally pays it back but recently it has been more borrowing and less paying back. What to do?
She's the one that needs to take the risk, not you. She needs to find a place and then sell her house. Do not give her another penny.
She is 75 yrs old and should know how to budget by now. You can help her find out what social services are available to her. If she's bedbound and cannot use a wheelchair then she probably is a candidate for LTC which can be covered by Medicaid plus her SS income. She needs to first sell her house and go into a good facility on private pay. Then, when her money is a few months from running out she applies for Medicaid and can stay in the same facility as long as she checked first to ensure they accept Medicaid recipients.
I feel sorry for her caregiver because eventually she won't get paid, either.
Please refer this woman in need to APS or family members who might be able to help her with future needs.
Best out to you; clearly you have a good heart, but your head needs to tell you that it will take you a LIFETIME of careful saving and good luck to be able to afford not to be in this poor woman's position in future.
Good luck.
Stop loaning your cousin money she's not paying back. That's giving her money when she owns a home she can sell. That's my suggestion.
I am hoping you've gotten the loans in writing (and signed by her) so that when she pays you back from the sale of her home, it doesn't look like gifting. If not, I'd do this immediately. Leverage any future help if she doesn't want to sign anything.
In fact, you should rent a storage locker and have her pay for 2 or more years in advance for it. No way should you be storing her crap in your garage of continue to be her lackey. Start using the word "No".
She seems to be sucking you in more and more. Your best course is to stop enabling her and set firm boundaries as to what, if any, help you will give her. She won't like it but then you don't like what is happening to you, and you are every bit as important as she is. Your job is first and foremost to look after yourself. No one else can do that.
There are very good suggestion in posts here. You need to protect yourself from this person who is taking advantage of you. No one can take advantage of you without your permission. Time to put a stop to that and put yourself and your needs first. Take steps towards that and take care of you.
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