My mother was diagnosed with toxic metabolic encephalopathy which causes temporary dementia symptoms and muscle weakness, and was sent for 3 months of rehabilitation in a skilled nursing facility. I was to take over her care. I found out my brother had been financially exploiting her while she was in his care and I said I was going to expose him to authorities. Suddenly, he had POA of Health and wont let me care for her nor lets her get the care she needs. She can’t leave the floor she’s on, she’s heavily sedated to the point that she can’t eat. When sedation is wearing off she’s fine and says the meds make her weak, tired, and forgetful. Her health has declined extremely since her extended stay (6 mos) and it’s both him and the nursing home (while he still uses her money of course). Her supposed diagnosis is Parkinson’s and Dementia (his diagnosis) and the hospital had sent her for more testing which he doesn’t allow. I’ve reported to adult protect services, Medicare fraud, dept of public health, petitioned for guardianship (denied without drs evaluation). Nursing home said they will cancel the ambulance if I call. I complain about her conditions all the time (rashes, allergies, starving, dehydrated) even to the social worker and all they say is that my brother has POA and he denies everything which is convenient for them to just have her sedated not to care for her. She belongs in my care, I know more about her health and I actually care. I tried to nicely talk to him and he insulted me and said she needs to stay there basically as if out of spite and leverage over taking all her life savings and SSI checks. He also recently had a stroke and can’t even take care of himself nor does he even go see her. I have to go and feed her purées and nutritional supplemental drinks to keep her alive till I can get her out of this dirty neglectful place. I’m tempted to just remove her myself and face the consequences or get her to either sign to revoke POA or assign me, but it’s a tricky situation. I can’t seem to find any legal advice or even an affordable attorney who has space for a family law case. Advice needed!
You say you cannot afford an attorney to make application to be her guardian.
Your claim that the Rehab center is in collusion with your brother makes your story here somewhat questionable.
You do not say what the outcome was of Adult Protective Services claim of financial fraud and neglect?
It is time to step away now, before you are visited with a stay-away order by the courts and have your visitation rights removed by restraining order. You are considering illegal actions now that can result in your being prosecuted and jailed. It is time to understand that you cannot control everything. It is time to understand that your choices now are down to:
1. Assisting brother in the care of your mother and providing supportive and loving visits without rancor and dissention
2. Stepping away and staying out of the situation entirely.
state are you in? If you go to your local senior sites for your city there will be a list of services. There is also an office for the aging. Visit the Elder Care Locator website and Call 1-800-677-1116.
If you think your Mom doesn't have dementia, then go there with new PoA paperwork, 2 witnesses and a notary and have her revoke your brother and assign you for both medical and financial. You won't be able to remove her without her doing this first. FYI you need a certified elder law attorney, not family law. Then, if you are able to get this far, take her to a primary doctor and have her tested for dementia so that she has a diagnosis/evaluation in her medical records. But you say she needs a hospital... if she's that ill you need to think past your emotions before you convince her to leave the NH.
You say you have evicence that your brother was financially exploiting her, yet he hasn't blocked your access to her. Maybe you are misinterpreting what you thought was "evidence"? What evidence did you see? You would need to take this to a certfied elder law attorney to see if you have a case. But, you can't afford to lose, and maybe can't afford to win, either.
If your Mom is willing and able to assign you as her new PoA, then you must be realistic about what this means for both your lives as her Parkinsons progresses. Many people with Parkinsons do end up in facilities because of all the physical care they need that their families cannot provide. They also often develop Lewy Body dementia.
Your post says you want to get her "into a hospital"... You would start by taking by calling 911 if she has something that is an actual emergency. If not, then you take her to the ER, where she'll most likely be discharged depending on what her issues are. Eventually she will need to go to your home. Is it even possible/practical to do this? Is your home set up for this? What if you find out she has a lot less money than you thought (since NHs aren't free and you don't mention if she's on Medicaid)? You need money for both of you to live on.
In the end if this power struggle is over her money/inheritance then your brother (if he has the financial means) may take it to court. Judges don't like when family fights over elders and may assign a 3rd party legal guardian that is neither of you. But he hasn't blocked your visits, even though you've accused him of a serious crime that may be a felony if true. And, we are only getting your side of the story.
Go into this with your eyes wide open. May you receive wisdom as you think about your next actions.