She is fine just laying in bed and having my 82 year old father change her diapers. My dad and I are sick of her not doing anything. Her caregiver quit after 3 weeks.
My question is this: what are my options? My dad can't take care of her and I work 8 hours a day. We want her out of the house.
Then place her in care. She requires several shifts with several workers each now.
Dad should consult an attorney about division of assets so his own funds aren't used for her care; he will soon enough require his funds for his own care. Then Mom can be placed in ALF or MC facility or Nursing home.
Can you think of any other option? I certainly can't. Anyone who is allowing themselve to be bedridden, or is UNABLE to avoid it, and to deal with incontinence to this extent is no longer capable of being "reasoned with". Nothing here will change. The trajectory is downward and your father could well lose his own life to attempting 24/7 care to someone so needy.
So sorry you are facing this now.
Is she willing to discuss going into a care facility? Why did her caregiver quit? Do you live in the house too?
For now get her checked by her primary doctor, then hire an aid to do the dirty work.