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I know this should be in discussions but I can't figure out how to post it there.
I had a feeling that something happened to his wife and now we find it was worse than expected. His wife passes and this poor man was alone for a week not knowing what was even happening. Don't even get me started on the poor dog. The disturbing part was that no one checked on this couple. The man had three grown kids. No one ever made a weekly call. No one was concerned about not hearing from them.
My husband calls his 87 year old brother every other day. He lives alone. A few years ago we couldn't get in touch with him for two days so I started calling local hospitals in his area and found he was admitted and his phone had died. It wasn't that hard to do.
I feel like society lately has gotten more and more isolated.
I had a feeling the wife died first . Poor Man wandering alone for a week with no food in His stomach . I am really surprised she did not have a house keeper or someone to check in On them . The Hantavirus comes from rat droppings or rodent droppings and the exterminators are the one who found them . She Passed on February 11 , 2025 and His Last Pacemaker registered February 18 , 2025. The dog was still in Its Kennel from coming Back from the Vet . I am surprised she did not Know she was sick . The Lungs fill with fluid . Her Mother has dementia and the Housekeeper said " she hadn't called her Mom in 5 months and use to call all the time . " Sad ending . The Lesson is You cant do it all and Have someone check in On you .
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AlvaDeer 15 min ago
That about hadn't called mom in months.
Yes, clearly, a lot wrong here. Things we can't ever know, I think.
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You bring up such a good point here regarding checking. Truly you do.
As to Mr. Hackman, for me this remains very mysterious. It is said that up until weeks before his death he typically rode his bike in his quiet neighborhood? He was that well apparently. And now his wife is dead of Hanta Virus (apparently) and has a dog in the bathroom locked in a kennel? And she is in a bathroom deteriorating. And he apparently is so demented he can't call 911 or walk outside the home?

I understand the wife was quite young. 61? So perhaps no one thought that they COULD, should check.

And to be honest, until NOW, I have typically spent the month of July in Washington State with my daughter, leaving hubby and our dog home alone. Yes, we talked daily or every other day on the phone, but had I not got him, how long would it take for me to call in a wellness check. I found out the answer to THAT one on Oct 24th when he had a massive stroke. He had gone to bed earlier than me (typical) to read. Dog always goes with him. I was watching my recorded Survivor program. I could see a dim light on in the bedroom through these opaque old glass doors separating our rooms. Suddenly the foster dog comes crashing through those doors and jumps on my lap. Sometimes N. will pay a "go find Alva" game with her. I thought this was that. But when I said "Are you playing find-A. and he didn't answer, I went in and he was down on the bed, no left side, aphasic for the most part. Got him to stroke center in minutes; huge clot in the MCA MR curve that they showed me. Clot busters given. And in short turned it around by blasting the clot in an hour and a half, before they could even ready him for embolectomy. In all my years as an RN never saw so complete a recovery so fast.

I won't be leaving any more. That's the end of that. They have to come here now--the kids.

But yes, it's important for us to think about, to make a plan about. I always say here a call in the a.m. and a call in the p.m. at some point. Just to check in. And with elders, perhaps a camera to access.
I think the problem here was young wife. Who would have suspected.
You just can't correct for everything.

I hope this gets moved to discussions where it will have a longer life.
Thanks for posting this.
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KNance72 14 min ago
The wife was 63 - 65 .
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I can't help but think, she is a statistic. 40%+ of caregivers die before the ones they are caring for.

As far as people staying in better touch, we can not possibly know or rightly judge the situation. The friends interviewed said they were very private people, whose to say they can't live that way, even with this end result. Not so bad IMO.

I didn't know anyone that could call my mom daily, she would just ignore the phone or start a fight if she felt checked on, she was not demented in the least, just mean and going to do it her way. Okay, as long as you know the consequences are all yours, I'm good with letting others live and die on their terms.
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AlvaDeer 14 min ago
Actually, I agree. There's worse ways to go. When you go so suddenly that you cannot call out for help? Pretty much a blessing.
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Totally agree with you on the increasing isolation of society. We’ve moved a number of times since marriage through three states and have seen with each move neighbors become less and less friendly or connected. Our current neighborhood consists of people who barely speak though there’s no animosity, they simply aren’t interested. Gene Hackman’s last days had to be horrific, a weak body and confused, faded mind, and no one to look out for him. Both a failure of his spouse and him to plan and their extended family and community to notice (yes, I realize they lived in a big house on acreage and didn’t have direct neighbors) I spoke to my dad daily his last years, often for just a few minutes, it wasn’t hard or asking too much. It was human kindness. We all should do better to check in on those around us and plan for our own safety and future
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